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I Drove You Out

Mon, 07 Jul 2008 21:25:02 -0500

I said hello to a young man I saw

At the bank of Transylvania

He is a blond young man

That is what I did

Since you've been gone

Doing what you do

When you are gone

The young man was soft spoken

And he seemed very gentle

I wonder if he would lie

The way you have lied

Or hide himself

The way you hide

I don't believe he would do

All that you have done

I dream that perhaps

I could feel feelings for him

The way I did for you

Do for him

All that I once did for you

Would he tell me he loves me

The way that you once did

With tears

And would he break my heart

Has you have done

I said hello a young man

I dreamed of him

And wished he were you

You, as I remember you

The dark haired, green eyed youth

Sad, and brooding

Hopeful, and lovely

Oh where have I chased you to

Away from me

In my miserable solitude

Deep in screaming loneliness

My friends are all dead

I can not feel

My body yearns for endless sleep

And quiet dreams of love I knew before

A love left battered and bleeding

Dead. Just like our love

That is no more

And will never be again

I said hello to a handsome young man

I made another smile

And another young man

I thought I saw blush

All of this

Since you have gone

To be where you must be

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Shallow Graves

Sat, 28 Jun 2008 15:29:51 -0500

As if some unholy mystery

Abandoned, without a tomb stone

Knowledge of my name absent

-from memory

who shall ever think of me

Again? Gone, my world

Silent

Away for all eternity

I rest under tumble weeds

and flies

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The Man Who Pissed Off Jesus

Fri, 27 Jun 2008 15:24:09 -0500

I will tell you how I fell in love

With the man who pissed off Jesus

The Son of Predition

Jesus can't forgive

Must have pissed him off pretty good

Because Jesus usaully don't hold a crudge like that

The Man who pissed off Jesus

Must have lost the number

Because the two haven't spoken in Ages

And even Jesus

Don't love him anymore

My good friend Death

We dine and laugh

About the awfulless of things

But if anyone has one to burn

He does

And so we sit in our gloom

Sitting smoking doom

Been mine since back in the day

And now he is here to stay

Nothing hurts me anymore

It is my season to be me

Losing all and having nothing

But everything there is

Is mine

And only Satan wins

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Pathetically, And Without Hope

Fri, 22 Feb 2008 16:57:43 -0600

My heart aches And it feels broken in pieces Such a fiery desire That went unspoken The times I cry Only because I know you have others Better than I I can not compete Against those You choose over me I loose every time I would whisper to tell only you Kiss you, and lick only you Over and over, all over Until you were sure Say farewell, then into the night Still, I wish we'd never part I miss your smell And yearn to be close again I love your skin; white, it excites Your hair turns me on Hazel eye dark and sad Quiet soul, mingled with good and bad But your feelings for me Are not what I had hoped for My insides are cornered Corralled and excellently roped You do not want me, at all Not the way I want you You have chosen another, now There is nothing to do If I could, I would show you all You would ever need to know I would do anything you want... All needs, I would fulfill I would do anything, just say it What ever you want, I will do it hat is how I love And how much I dare, for you

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A Poem

Fri, 08 Feb 2008 18:17:37 -0600

Monster Serenade

by Mike Martinez

Dedicated To A Friend

Preface

This is a short poem for a person who I really don't know. But he is someone I think about a lot. And a man I care about a lot. There is more to it than this. Much more, I am sure, than I will ever really know. And so, it is okay to conclude that I never had a clue, and still fail to understand. Consequently, this poem is rife with sentiment. As such, how serious can we take all that it emotes? You can take it serious, though. Because my emotions are true. This poem is true too. -The Mog

Introduction

I am cemetery weary Creating a crazy scenario There is no god, there is not love There is no looking back I trade sanity, for all of that It's been impossible to know Where my soul is at...

Part 1

Imploring

How can I tell you Young man What you won't understand? But, in the evening rain I wish I could Teach you To feel as I do, And forget everything. Is it possible To capture, and in a trance Tell you What is hard to say But, I smell poetry And gentle rage; Unsettled softness In your bottomless eyes. I want to Tell you all. And more besides. To touch you; Unfold ourselves, in twilight Make you feel with me, Trusting in eternity Beyond death like smells.....

Part 2

On An Elevated Vantage Point

Looking out across a sea Of thorny trees; sprawled out magnificently Sparkling like an emerald This jungle forest lay Before him.... At first.... Behind you, now So many mindless worlds Left behind you, A light over your shoulder To guide you.... To remind you.... Thinking of everything, You won't be surprised to find yourself Surprised, unknowingly innocent Everlasting beckons us always, forever Before.... You now; deserted Before you... Just to remind you, To prod you.... Electrocute you. So many endless screams Your victims haunt Cavern like escapes cascading An avalanche of spurting blood Before you lay A graveyard of dung On sunburned earth. A place for sex And lies Pretext: Sits before you To remind you... Nothing inside you... Only emptiness. The hole The pit No one lives there, Only rotting stench....

Part 3

Monkey On Me

Break it all up, pry the corners up Go through every little thing A person ever owned, all they had But couldn't take. Build up around this one Spitting, and drooling, self degrading Undertaking; lights waiting for me Buzzing, driving,fretting, until I couldn't take it I learned to hate it I was so strung out, then; I was so insane. But no one sees you; but you Don't keep secret What you know. No one sees you Do, what you Don't want them to. Can this be, or Does he wait? Inside of me; Astride of me, I saw you looking.... I was pleading, Because I want you For me, young man.

Part 4

La Dumpe'

Empty fields Run dry, like brittle bones forsaken blood and drunken voices; echoing across conscience, Guilt ridden game Played upon murderous shame. Unpillowed, and naked Down back roads, trails polluted Trashed, watery gulch, tumbleweed patch A bridge, and a syphon to burn with garbage all around The discarded sounds can never relinquish their hold On your mental shoulder, your soul I want to say the words, So you can hear me say, I want you so much. And can you feel me breathe Never leave, oh unrepentant One of nature's doings can you ever feel as I do? Buried beneath wormy sorrow, I entreat love, for Love's sake To live, to sigh By and by

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Some Fun Magical Oils From Scripture

Fri, 07 Dec 2007 16:09:53 -0600

Genesis 104:14, "He causeth the grass to grow for the cattle, and herb for the service of man: that he may bring forth food out of the earth;..."

Book Of Moses The Peral Of Great Price, Chapter 2,vv11-12, "And I, God, said: Let the earth bring forth grass, the herb yielding seed, the fruit tree yielding fruit, after his kind, and the tree yielding fruit, whose seed should be in itself upon the earth, and it was so even as I spake.
And the earth brought forth grass, every herb yielding seed after his kind, and the tree yielding fruit, whose seed should be in itself, after his kind; and I, God, saw that all things which I had made were GOOD ;..." (emphasis my own)

Oil is first mentioned in the bible in the 1st Book of Moses,called Genesis, Chapter 37 and verse 25, "And they sat down to eat a meal. Then they lifted their eyes and looked, and there was a company of Ismelites, coming from Gilead with their camels, bearing spices, balm, and myrrh, on their way to carry them down to Egypt."(NKJV) Oils were part of everyday life for these ancient Middle East people. Deuteronomy 8:8," A land of wheat, and barley, and vines, and fig trees, and pomegranates; a land of oil olive, and honey;" Also, it is interesting to note the caravans were going to Egypt.All of us being students of magic, what may we guess as to the uses these ancient Egyptians would have had for these commodities? The ancient Egyptians used fragrant oils for bathing, massage, and embalming the dead.

OILS
A few words of CAUTION first. Always always use your god -given good common sense before using any oils, herbs, spices that are unfamiliar to you! pregnant or nursing mothers always consult your doctor before using any kind of essential oils.People who are epileptic, high blood pressure,consult your doctor. KEEP OUT OF THE REACH OF CHILDREN. Avoid getting oils in eyes and ears.Do not handle contact lenses with out washing your hands first. Use extra-virgin olive oil only. Other oils may contain nut oils.These may be dangerous if you're allergic. If you have sensitive skin you might want to test the oils on the bottom of your feet first. In case of accidental swallowing contact your local poison control center,drink lots of milk,cream,or yogurt.DO NOT use with skin or hair products containing aluminum.petro chemicals,sodium laurel sulfate, propylene glycol or lead acetate. combining with essential oils may cause adverse reactions including burning, rash, headaches, nausea. If you start to experience uncomfortable reactions DISCONTINUE USE IMMEDIATELY. Again use common sense.
Now, the bible describes a method for using olive oils to produce healing balms. here oil is referred to as "beaten". today beaten oil is what we know as virgin, or extra-virgin (This means no chemical means were used to extract the oil.)
Ancient cultures extracted oil by distilling raw plant material.The roots, stem, leaves and bark were crushed and mixed with oil.
Sandalwood and cedar bark were stripped from trees, ground into powder and soaked in olive oil. then the powder is wrapped in a woolen cloth that is heated to extract the oil.Flowers were added to produce aromatics like Rose Oil.

A Few Folk Remedies Employing Olive Oil
For acne: Massage affected areas with a mixture of 8 ounces olive oil and ten drops of lavender oil.
For wrinkles: Rub a mixture of olive oil and the juice of a lemon into skin at bed time.
For shining hair : After shampooing, rub in a mixture of olive oil and egg yolks, juice of a lemon and some beer. Leave in 5 minutes then wash out.

I Kings 5:6," Now therefore command thou servant hew me cedar trees out of Lebanon; and my servants shall be with thy servants: and unto thee will I give hire for thy servants shall be with thy servants: and unto thee I give hire for thy servants according to all that thou shalt appoint: for thou knowest that there is not among us any that can skill to hew timber like unto the Sidonians.

Cedar : Cedar wood is used to promote relaxation and ease nervous tension,for arthritis relief,urinary infections,bronchitis. It kills germs and fights fungus. It can be used for cleansing purposes.
Scientific name: Cedrus Atlantica

John 19:39,"And there came also Nicodemus, which at the first came to Jesus by night, and brought a mixture of myrrh and aloes, about an hundred pound weight.

Nehemiah 8:15 "And that they should publish and proclaim in all their cities, and in Jerusalem, saying, Go forth unto the mount, and fetch olive branches, and pine branches, and myrtle branches, and palm branches, and branches of thick trees, to make booths, as it is written."

Song of Solomon 3:6,"Who is this that cometh out of the wilderness like pillars of smoke, perfumed with myrrh and frankincense, with all powders of the merchant?

Psalm 51:7,"Purge me with hyssop, and I shall be clean : wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow.

Mark 14:3,"And being in Bethany in the house of Simon the leper, as he sat at meat, there came a woman having an alabaster box of ointment of spikenard very precious; and she brake the box, and poured it on his head."

Exodus 30:23-25," Take thou also unto thee principle spices, of pure myrrh five hundred shekels, and of sweet cinnamon half so much, even two hundred and fifty shekels,and of sweet calamus two hundred and fifty shekels,And of cassia five hundred shekels, after the shekel of the sanctuary, and of olive oil an hin: And thou shalt make it an oil of holy oil, an ointment compound after the art of the apothecary: it shall be an holy oil." (note : a "shekel" is a monetary unit.)

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NOS, Or Not Otherwise Specified

Thu, 30 Aug 2007 17:35:49 -0500

I could scance recall anything, but the weather. Then weather was blustering wind; everywhere, there, and even here. In the approving looks she gave me. The way her eyes sparkled, along with a smile that oscillated between a small, pouting, barely open 0. And a wide, toothy grin. a grinning grin that often broke into laughter. Spontaneously like she couldn't control herself, she would bust out in loud laughing. And then I gaw hawf myself, sounding squealish to my ears and feel embarrassed.

Everyone had gone out to the beach that weekend. We really didn't know what beach it was. We just all got into the cars , and drove west, toward where we knew the coast was. The freeway took us there. and whenever we reached the beach we just turned left, or right onto Pacific coast Highway until we found a place that looked "good". An empty parking lot, (only us; a quasi-semi-Private beach.) A small ( quaintness-i.e. privacy ,so to speak) out of way place place. A place we were sure no one else had ever found. Down behind a trail, leading down towards the waves, and then suddenly turn into a hidden cove,with a laguna. A place where we could spark fires, and light fires, and provide flame for all who ask. There, we could take acid, get drunk, and smoke pot all night long.Try to get lucky.
What a shame.
We had won the foot ballgame, had made the obligatory trip to Tommy's Burgers, on Colorado Blvd., and "hopped" on the freeway to head toward "the beach". Some "jumped" on the freeway to hop on over to "the beach". No one asked what beach we were headed for. We just skipped on over with a hop and a jump. All of us from nowhere street. We were from the Boulevard

I remember, this woman, I don't know, from about maybe 20 years ago. she always use to be a security guard at the Kmart. But when I asked her she denied it. Yes, she said, she was a security guard,but never at Kmart. But I distinctly recall first meeting her there, at age 8. Exactly. I was age 8, when I first met her. And she was a security guard at Kmart. Since then, I have come across this woman maybe 4, or 5 other times since then. This last time, it's been 6 weeks, now. And each time, she has been a security guard.
It wasn't until I was in my early 20's when I found out she was Denver Joan's lesbian lover. Now, Denver Joan was the first music teacher I ever had. I was just a junior high kid. she taught me the rink dink piano. The rinky dink was before boogie woogey, and the hon key tonk. It was the music of the old south, and the old American west. When she died she seemed a shadow of her former self. Once, tall, and barrel chested; Denver Joan sauntered in anywhere like she owned the place, like a giant. At her demise she seemed frail, small, and feeble. But she hadn't stopped. She was working on a rival of old songs of the Confederacy when she left the land of the living. She had a contract to perform at a Restaurant in the city of Alhambra, in Southern California.
I reached back into my back pack and pulled a swallow of a forty ounce of warm malt liquor. I nearly puked at looked at the young girl beside me. she was smiling, that smile. I knew she was enjoying herself. But, maybe hadn't decided if I was to allowed closer. Not yet, anyway. I kept talking, trying hard not to sound to effected in my attempt to hold her rapt interest.
I want to tell you about when I was in the Navy, I told her.
when you sail through towards Newfoundland, you sail through some pretty ports.
Did my voice crack? Can she tell I am nervous?
In fact, it is the most beautiful scenery you will behold with your own eyes! Especially in the misty morning dawn.
I wax poetic, sometimes. Not forced, but quite naturally dramatic. That is good, right? No? Maybe not too much. But in just the right amounts it doesn't hurt. Just so it isn't noticeable.
I can still see it in my mind's eye. So, Grey and brown, and black; the small islands in the inlets we passed, were dressed in dark stones and green moss. Did I see I moose, drinking from a stream,in the icy cold morning air of North Atlantic. I might have. I don't remember any birds. I saw harks once, and dolphins.
Should I remark that she wasn't even born then. Not even thought of? Not even a twinkle in her father's eye. Or, was she?
Casually I take another snort from by fat bottle. I get out a joint, crumpled from my jean pocket, and light it. she wants to know if I am going to smoke marijuana. you aren't going to smoke a joint, are you. she says all this plaintively. I tell her yes, I am. And then I do. By the time we get to the Cornela Sanders, it's KFC now, I already have a good buzz going. But not too much. Just enough, is good enough.

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Death Meanderings Again

Sun, 26 Aug 2007 18:19:34 -0500

Depression again,

And what does it matter?

What did it mean?
What could it mean?

I didn't want it to mean anything.
The very thought
Seemed like torture to endure.

But, it must mean something.
It can't just be meaningless.
'Oh, Lord, do you think
You could
Spare me this one
Please?'

Does it matter if I think
I am going to die
If I have to live through it?
Don't you even care
That it's scaring me to death?
But I am fixing to make it
Old Lord,
Jesus.

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French For Josh

Thu, 23 Aug 2007 13:38:19 -0500

Another For Josh

Que peut je dit probablement en plus, je vous aime

Tout vous faites m'Excitez,

Monsieur Votre obscurité,

Vos
Yeux de mischevious Votre sourire m'intrigue

Et vous fait aimer me je veux vous embrasser

Et vous tient Toute
Nuit, Pour tout temps

Mais toute Mort ne me laissera pas Il me veut plus que vous faites

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Not Too Much

Wed, 20 Jun 2007 14:57:21 -0500

   I didn't really like it. That is what she tried to tell me. Of course, I would believe her. They way she said things, and the way she looked;so, beautiful. What else would I do? Only anything she asked.
     Yeah, right.
   I remember visiting her one late evening.The hour was perhaps 11:30, or so. Not too late to check on the welafare of a single, young lady. I went with the best intentions, only to find seven other gentlemen ( gentlemen, yeah right.) waiting for her ,too. Then, about 3:30 am, or so, she comes sauntering in like no bodies business.
      She looked around, and with a great sigh said, " I'm sorry fellas, but I am awfully tired. I am afraid two of ya will have to go home!"
Well, you can imagine how we guys felt, just looking at each other. And then she smiles, and says, "Just kidding' Come on in!"
   What a night, and what a girl.
That's how she was, and that's how that is.

I know how it is.

I know too much. That is my problem. I wish I didn't know as much, or at least not be able to remember so much. I need to forget, that's my problem too. I wish I could, but I can't. So, that's my problem. I know too much, and I can't forget.

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