Depression again,

And what does it matter?

What did it mean?
What could it mean? 

I didn't want it to mean anything.
The very thought
Seemed like torture to endure.

But, it must mean something.
It can't just be meaningless.
'Oh, Lord, do you think
You could
Spare me this one
Please?'

Does it matter if I think
I am going to die
If I have to live through it?
Don't you even care
That it's scaring me to death?
But I am fixing to make it
Old Lord,
Jesus.